25
May
11

one word

So yesterday I posted about waking from my possum like state. At which point, I got pretty scared. That frozen state I was choosing to walk away from was looking more and more attractive. Maybe it was nostalgia, maybe fear. Either way, last night through now has been a series of very challenging hours. Basically, the hopeful me was running into a vicious battle with the mess of approval seeking me.

Yuck.

Then I remembered how I was SUPPOSED to spend this year. We have this amazing, beautiful and brilliant 8th grader in our ministry who never ceases to amaze and inspire me. Actually – we have many students who inspire me and I don’t intend to take anything away from them. Something about this particular student, though, is remarkable.

In January, she told me of this family tradition they have at their house regarding the New Year. Instead of making a bajillion resolutions about habits, health and happiness, they each choose one word that will set the tone, set the goals, set the mission for the coming year.

How cool is that? And by cool, I mean wise. And simple. And clear. And cool.

Never one interested in re-inventing the wheel when unnecessary, I decided to snatch up this plan for 2011 for myself. But picking a word for the year was HARD. It should be easy, right?

There are loads of great words out there.

joy. hope. risk. imagine. dream. laugh. soar. win. nap.

Unfortunately, I felt a nudging in a very different direction. God seemed to be reminding me of somethings I am less than proud of. Things like – I have lots more starts than finishes. I am super easily distracted…and discouraged. I give up easily. Oh, yeah, and I play possum.

Humph.

He seemed to be saying things like I need to increase in obedience. I need to chase after and actually live out my calling. I need to follow him. I need to trust him. Without reservation.

Really… I need to commit.

I do NOT like that word. Back in the day, I struggled with that word, much the same way men are accused of doing. And although I do not struggle with fidelity to my amazing and wonderful husband, I am not faithful in far too many areas of my life. My health. My job. My faith.

That sucks to admit.

Bottom line, the top of my phone has tiny print on the screen that reads “commit”. And until yesterday, I chose to ignore it. I chose to “forget” that I had picked that word for 2011.

And yes, I see the irony of that.

That doesn’t mean I intend to re-commit. After all, that wasn’t my word.

What word do you think your year has been shaped by so far? Is that the word you by which would like to define 2011? If not, what word would you choose to pursue for the remaining 6+ months?

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